About

This is dedicated to awful puns usually involving U.S. presidents. Since there have been but forty-four of them — forty three, really; I'm looking at you, Grover Cleveland — we reserve the right to use other historical figures. Or current ones; frankly, we can't be trusted to follow the script. Our job is to give the setup; you will supply the punchline in the comments. First correct answer will be highlighted in the post.

Bentley and Joseph met in German class in high school a number of decades ago (never you mind just when). They soon were in the habit of telling one another really bad puns based on the names of presidents. It all started with this one, which Joseph had read in a book:

Q: Which president was a chicken?
A: Calvin Coo-lidge

It's been said that to analyze humor is to ruin it, but a joke that bad can hardly be ruined. So here goes: chickens don't coo, they cluck. It should be, say, a pidgeon, or a dove (though chickens are funnier than either of those birds). And Calvin Coolidge just might be the least funny president ever.

Both Bentley and Joseph thought that this joke was so bad that even they could do better. Alas, they were proven wrong, over and over again. It wasn't for lack of trying. The fruits of their labor are here presented for your enjoyment.